Attire
Dress comfortably for the ceremony, cocktail hour, reception, and dancing. All events will be inside in an air conditioned room.
Both Indian dress and Western dress are welcome. The bride and bridesmaids will be wearing a sari, and the groom and groomsmen will be wearing tuxedos.
Guidance:
Indian wedding clothes: kurtas for men, saris for women
Western wedding clothes: tuxedos or suits for men, dresses or gowns for women
Traditions
Vedic Vivaha (Indian Wedding)
The Sanskrit word for marriage is vivaha, which literally means “what supports or carries.” The Vivaha ceremony is a sacred ceremony meant to create a union that supports and carries a man and woman throughout their married life in the pursuit of righteousness (dharma). In India, marriage has been looked upon as having been designed by the cosmos and considered as a "sacred oneness witnessed by fire itself." The primary witness of a Hindu marriage is the fire-deity (or the Sacred Fire) Agni, in the presence of family and friends.
Sacred rites of matrimony are performed with Agni as the celestial witness. These rites come to us from scriptures of RigVeda, which dates back to 1200 BC. The mantras/hymns are recited in the Sanskrit language. These hymns are similar to the archaic poems of Iranian/Greek language families and the Iliad of Homer. These verses from those scriptures continue to be recited at Hindu prayers and rites of passage.
The Samskaras (sacraments) begin with one’s birth, celebrating various stages of life. A marriage is the 14th such Samskara out of a total of 16. Every ritual, from the first prayer to the final farewell, carries a meaning that extends beyond the wedding day. These are symbolically rich, with a few adaptations over years to reflect the contemporary reality.
Vivaha represents a sacred, lifelong commitment, a sacrament rather than a contract, uniting 2 individuals and families to support dharma (duty) thereby fulfilling their duty towards society.
A traditional ceremony does not include a step wherein the bride and groom state their acceptance of each other as life partners. It is presumed to have been done as per their choosing of each other and the parents’ consent.
Ganesh Puja – Ceremony starts with an invocation of a prayer. Lord Ganesha is considered to be the remover of all obstacles and as such we pray to him first. The rituals are called puja. A statement of intent (sankalpa) is made and blessings to perform the Vivaha ceremony are sought to by both sets of elders.
Mangalashtaka – Eight auspicious verses
A curtain is held between the groom and the bride representing the separateness before the vivaha. They stand facing each other, holding a fresh flower garland, a curtain between them.
The pandit recites mangalashtakas to 8 deities to invoke blessings of God and nature. At the end of every verse, the pandit & the family collectively advise the couple ‘Shubh Mangala Savadhan’. Meaning ‘pay keen attention to the commitments you are making’.
Once the curtain is removed, the bride puts the garland around the groom and then he around her. The removal of the curtains symbolizes two lives becoming one.
The couple walks around the hom kunda (their stoles tied together with a knot) as they embark on a lifetime of joyful and fruitful togetherness.
The Mangal sutra (auspicious thread) - The groom ties it around the neck of the bride while reciting ‘I tie this around your neck as a symbol of our good fortune, love and friendship’.
Saptapadi
The Saptapadi (meaning "seven steps" in Sanskrit) is the most crucial, legally binding ritual in a traditional Hindu wedding, representing the solidification of a marriage and the beginning of a shared, life-long journey. It involves the bride and groom taking seven steps together around the hom kunda, symbolizing seven specific promises and vows.
Nourishment & Well-being
In the first saptapadi meaning, the couple promises to nourish and care for each other's overall well-being – physical, emotional and spiritual.
Strength & Prosperity
The second vow is about standing by each other and growing together in strength and prosperity.
Trust & Faithfulness
With the third step, the bride and groom pledge to be loyal and faithful and trust each other completely.
Respect & Happiness
The fourth saptapadi meaning represents a promise to respect each other and foster happiness and harmony in the relationship.
Family & Progeny
In the fifth vow, the couple prays for a happy family life and healthy children.
Health & Longevity
The sixth phera represents a wish for a long, healthy life together filled with joy and laughter.
Friendship & Togetherness
The final vow is a promise of eternal friendship, love and companionship as the couple embarks on the journey of life together.
“Na ati Charami” is a profound Sanskrit vow taken by the couple translating to ‘I shall not walk away’ or ‘I will not transgress’.
(When combined with the 3 principles , "Dharmecha Arthecha Kamecha Naati Charame" means, "I will not deviate from my duties (dharma) and responsibilities (artha) towards you." It is a solemn vow of loyalty and commitment, encompassing both the moral duties and the material support a couple promises to provide each other in their married life.)
The last ritual is taking the blessings of all elders and guests.The bride and groom bow down to each and every elder to do namaskar.
As Rohan & Elaine step into their new life, they bring with them the values of their ancestors, the warmth of their family, and the blessings of the divine.
Sanatan Dharma (Hinduism) terms & principles
4 principles or aims of human life are considered to be :
Dharma - duty (towards family, society, nature etc etc)
Artha – legitimate pursuit of wealth, career, security
Kama – desire/pleasure/wants
Moksha – liberation which is considered the end goal of life
Some Sanskrit terms:
Samskaras – sacraments (visible rituals)
Hom – Sacred/divine fire called Agni, a great purifier
Hom Kunda – the fire altar
Mangalsutra – auspicious necklace
Devkare - Rituals appeasing and seeking the blessings of Family Deities & ancestors for a happy married life.
The bride’s mangalsutra and anklets and toe rings and other jewellery are laid out for blessing on a tray adorned with betel nut leaves, areca nuts and unbroken rice.
Ancestral Worship: Prayers are offered to ancestors, invoking their goodwill.
Sacred Lamp Lighting: The family lights a lamp at the wedding venue, symbolizing positivity and removing obstacles.
An Act of Humility: This ritual reminds everyone that a wedding is not just about human efforts but also about divine intervention.
Haldi - Haldi (turmeric) is applied before Indian weddings for spiritual purification, to ward off the evil eye, and for its skin benefits, creating a natural glow and protecting against ailments for the auspicious new beginning. This auspicious yellow paste symbolizes prosperity, cleanses the mind, body, and soul, and is a traditional beauty treatment to ensure the couple looks radiant and healthy for their marriage.
A paste made of sandalwood and turmeric and oil is applied by every guest to the couple using mango leaves. Also known as ‘Tel(oil) Ceremony’ in Goa.
Chuda - A green bangles chuda (specifically Hirwa Chuda in Marathi) is a traditional set of green bangles worn by brides and married women, primarily in Maharashtra, Goa, and parts of South India. It acts as a significant symbol of marital status, fertility, and prosperity, often worn alongside gold bangles.
Mehndi – One of the solah Shringar (16 adornments) of the bride. Mehendi is known for its medicinal properties. It has a cooling effect that aids in soothing stress, headaches and fever. Mehndi is applied to relieve the bride and the groom of all the wedding stress. Mehndi in a Hindu marriage symbolizes love, prosperity, and the strengthening of the marital bond, deeply rooted in tradition as a harbinger of good luck and fertility for the bride. A dedicated mehndi ceremony is a joyous event held before the wedding that brings families together.